Monday, January 12, 2015

The life we planned

By the age of 5 most of us are playing house. By 10, most girls are starting to dream of their prince charming and looking in awe at any bride that they see. At some point in our lives we start to make a plan for how we think it should go. My plan was to get married around 21, start having babies around 23 (1 boy and 1 girl), and have a mini van by 25, and of course, have the perfect job to go to every day. 

Well surprise, surprise, I did NOT get my way. I got married at 23, started having babies at 32, I still don't have a mini van, I have 2 boys, and I was forced to quit my "job" when our oldest son was born. The one thing I never dreamed of while I was playing house and gawking at brides, was having a special needs child.

No one does. As they are playing house, no one ever thinks about the layout of the house, because someone that is living there, is in a wheelchair. No one makes a mock "house schedule" that involves going to therapy 3 times a week. No one pretends to grind food up so they can feed it to their "baby" through a tube in it's belly. (well maybe someone does, but I didn't) Having a child with special needs is never really in anyone's plan. It was never in my plan.


 

It was the life I was given. It has been a hard road but I wouldn't change it for the world! I still look back at the life I had planned and wish my plans would have worked out the way I wanted, but they didn't. 

This life that I have, the one that was waiting for me, is the one I know I was destined to live. Looking back, there were a lot of things that were getting me ready for this life. When I met my husband, when we actually got married, my work at a group home, our battle with infertility, the timing of us actually getting pregnant, the timing of our son's birth, the fact that our son is special needs, and my increased desire to write. All of these things were getting me ready for this moment. Getting me ready for this life. And it is looking good!

Maybe things in your life didn't go as planned. Maybe you had a nice neat plan like I did. Maybe you wanted kids, but were told you couldn't conceive. Maybe you wanted 1 boy and 1 girl, and ended up with 2 boys... or 6 girls. Maybe you haven't met that special someone that you will grow old with. Maybe you thought you did but things didn't work out and you have gotten divorced. Maybe you thought you would have that "dream job" by now, but you find yourself still flipping burgers side by side with some high-schooler that has no idea how hard life can be.

We all make plans for our life. We all have to change our plans when things don't work out the way we wanted. We all have to be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. You may not be living the life you planned, or be in the life that is waiting for you, but you are being prepped. All of your struggles, pain, tears, and joys are getting you ready for the life that is waiting for you. So put your head down, breath deep, and push forward to the life that is waiting for you. Do not be afraid. What are you waiting for? What is holding you back? What star are you chasing?

2 comments :

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  2. Oh don't I know it! I didn't plan to have 3 babies with health problems and to lose two of them ... I didn't plan to have a little girl with club foot.. I didn't plan that marriage would be so difficult.. But God does have a plan through it all and He is good. Thank you for sharing! God bless you!

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