Thursday, March 27, 2014

Noelie is 20 months old!

Sitting up so big! Without help! (20 months old)
When he was younger, and we were going to the doctors a lot more, I would put his weight and height with the picture so I could compare as he grew. But today I am happy to say, I honestly don't know either one. I can take a rough guess but that's all it would be...a guess. I am glad to not know these numbers. When he was first born that is what our life revolved around...numbers. The numbers on the hospital monitors. The numbers that were his head circumference, weight, and length. The limited number of months or years we may have with him. The number of kids that this affects too. Our life revolved around numbers. Today it doesn't! And it feels so good.

At one point I really never thought I would see this day. I remember one day in the NICU I was wondering why. What was the point? Why does this even matter? What life would he have if he did live? What happens if we can't take care of him? I didn't want his days to be spent in an institution where no one cared. (I still don't, but that is not an issue right now)

I was giving up hope. It didn't matter. He didn't matter. After some soul searching and going to church I realized our little boy had weight. In the most literal sense (he weighed 4 pounds), and in a deeper meaning (he meant something). Like all of us, he was put in the planet for a reason. He too has a purpose. One of them (I believe) was to find my cancer. Another one was to help our family get a better understanding of the world of special needs kids. We also had so many people praying for our little guy that I think another reason was to bring people to God, even if for a short time. He has weight in the world. I am thankful for his whopping (roughly) 21 pounds of smiles. And I am happy to celebrate his 20 month birthday!

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